There is a philosophical saying “if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around, does it make a sound?”
Well I feel some interactions between partners can be similar, with similar consequences.
“If our intent is not understood to be loving when we feel we act in that manner, the gap between our caring and our partners interpretation of our feelings/actions will cause a division and stress.
I think it it is essential that if we want to be loved by our partner, that they need to be able to interpret our actions and therefore , our motivations as coming from a deep place of caring and therefore, love. If our partner or loved one can not interpret our actions and what we say in a way that feels like it comes from a special and caring place within us, the relationship can become weak. When they do not understand exactly how much we care, how much we love them, and our actions or what we say is not clearly understood, but is interpreted wrongly, we are not given “emotional credit” for the caring that we feel and show in our actions towards them.
But most of us need this “Emotional Credit”. In essence, we need our love to be understood and recognized, acknowledged for us to stay and flourish in a relationship. If our love is not SEEN, then does it exist? To the other person, perhaps not! If they do not have the necessary emotional tools, perception and experience, to be able to interpret our actions and words, they will not know our intent and feelings. Perhaps they have had emotional trauma that blocks their perception. Or perhaps their self-image is weak and they do not feel very “lovable”. And thus we may love them, but they will feel little or none of it, just as the tree that falls in the forest, our love will not be heard, seen, or understood.